8 Tips on Surviving Motherhood as an Empath Pt. 1
July truly kicked my butt emotionally, and just when I didn’t think there was anything else to add to my emotional rollercoaster, everyone in my household got sick with me as the only exception. At that point, it was nothing left to do but to turn mommy mode up a notch. By the end of the week, I reflected on my motherhood journey and decided to share aspects of motherhood that have stuck with me on the worst of days. My tips on surviving motherhood are probably best suited for those who still haven’t realized motherhood to humans in their journey and actual mothers who are still struggling some days to figure it all out. I have learned so far that all mothers are in an active test at every stage of their motherhood journey, and we are literally one circumstance away from uncharted territory in our roles as mothers.
The role of the empathic mother
Empathic mothers tend to have more of a focus on their child’s emotions and sense of freedom. Empathic mothers operate on a continuum of vibrational exchange. Their awareness of their child’s vibration creates a mirror for their actions. If enlightenment becomes a reality, it is because the mother took action and allowed their child to be a conduit for creating new emotional awareness and improving the soul pattern of the lineage.
All empathic mothers have a better chance at disrupting severely traumatized lineages based on their awareness of the emotional impact. Still, the empathic state of the mother is only beneficial if her traumas do not activate victimhood, selfishness, or envy.
Here are my tips, in no specific order, on surviving motherhood as an empath:
Partner
A partner has been critical for me. I realize some people are fine to take on single motherhood, and others have become single mothers by circumstance. And soul growth can be realized on both pathways as mothers, however my specific pathway has manifested in partnership.
An old roommate once told me that she would adopt if she didn’t have a partner when she was 35. She said all men secretly wanted a woman who could fry a pan of chicken in one hand and hold a baby on her hip in the other. Well, there have certainly been many days like this, but it’s deeper than that. Being a mother requires a lot of emotional support. My partner just so happens to be my husband, Daddy to my children, and “the village.” His help has gone above and beyond, and he’s undoubtedly filled in for the village of support it takes to raise a child. This observation may be odd for some to grasp. Still, his native knowledge of child-rearing has been priceless in the moments I didn’t have the women in my family step forward with the secrets to silencing a newborn or the art of negotiating with a toddler. It may take a village, but that type of community only existed for us when we lived in Senegal. I dream of the day of our return. The US runs on a different tempo, and we haven’t found a village here that matches our energy and parenting style—we have become our village.
2. I am giving myself grace.
At some point on your journey in motherhood, you will realize that what you dreamed it to be or hoped it to be isn’t what it is. Hopefully, for you, you figure this out sooner so that you can achieve balance. Discovering what is going to be sustainable for you is truly the key to finding balance and maintaining not just your sanity but some peace. Grace is also critical because life goes on while figuring out how to raise your children. Many things can no longer exist with the same level of priority. Grace is needed when you are late, can’t show up at all, or forgot to return that text outside of your mental space. Divine grace is an essential element to who we are as beings. We are responsible for allowing grace to operate in its true nature according to our awareness of its existence. But you must remember that grace, the divine love, and protection that we experience as a condition of our humanity lives in the present moment, not in the past or the future.
“...I couldn’t have imagined having my kids any sooner than I did.
3. I saved motherhood for later.
This tip is something that spiritual guidance helped me to accept. But, it was a part of my soul’s journey to step into motherhood in my mid-30s. For those desperately desiring to become a mother, this may be an unpopular tip, but I couldn’t have imagined having my kids any sooner than I did. This thought was much easier to identify with guidance and also after having two healthy little ones. But, surrendering to my intended path indeed meant I needed to experience living in different states, dating as an adult, breakups, travel, and finding some sense of myself before I had children. Honestly, motherhood is the ultimate act of surrender. We often have difficulty surrendering to Spirit, which negates our ability to understand it and properly define it. But, the act of surrender is available to us through connection, faith, reassurance, and always with guidance. We must understand that surrender is a vehicle to accept help and guidance to continue the path to enlightenment.
I look at some of the women I grew up with and associates sending their children off to college now, and I think that is amazing for them. But, I am content knowing that coming to motherhood much later was the right thing for me to experience, and it has proven to be the right thing for my children as I am more secure in my choices for them. I can be more intentional and present, and I feel like I averted a mid-life crisis by allowing it to manifest this way. Although I always dreamed of finding my love and having children by 28, that did not happen for me-- and that is ok.
4. Thinking ahead about my parenting style.
Thinking ahead has genuinely helped me to stay grounded during the craziest of times. Because I did wait to have children, I separated myself from a romantic state of what motherhood would be like, to a more natural state of what I wanted motherhood to look like for me. This shift was critical in articulating what I wanted parenting to look like when I felt like I met the partner that would help bring that desire to reality. Setting intentions for your role as a mother helps you to stay present and eradicate perceived outcomes. In presence, you are focused on yourself as you are and your child(ren) as they come, not how you would wish them to be. This mindset helps you realize your dreams as a stable and present parent in a role that naturally shifts over time. And, it solidifies your child as a being with free will to choose their path with the tools in hand that the parent (guide) offered in childhood.
From a spiritual perspective, motherhood isn’t designed to put you in the vibration of survival but to help you experience the energetic vibration of generosity. In generosity, you feel expansive. All of your gifts and hurdles in life have the opportunity to be utilized for growth. The role of mother/parent is life’s most incredible opportunity to grow soulfully. It will challenge you daily but also reward you daily. The energy exchange in this relationship is both linear and dynamic. To deepen your experience with motherhood, understand that to mother is to source love for others. It is the ultimate act of service and a pathway to ascension if the awareness in the mother is available. The mothers who struggle with motherhood the most deny understanding of themselves, Spirit, and their children as independent beings.
In generosity, we access levity and are ready to accept our spiritual designation as others. In this state, we are available to be in service and acknowledge our connection to the divine. With this awareness, we are open to freely giving to our children and pushing forward to even greater states of expansion and, most importantly, ascension.
Here’s the start of a two part post to on my 8 tips for Surviving Motherhood as an Empath. Stay tuned to the blog this month for my next 4 tips. In the meantime, if you would like to understand your role as a mother with clarity, schedule a session with me here.
Good questions to ask in your session are anything that triggers you as a mother, or areas that you would like to better understand so that can improve your actions, or shed any negative energy that is blocking you.
Also, if you are an empathic mother it is like you have empathic children, so check out my post on parenting an empath!
In the meantime, check out these episodes of the Life of an Empath podcast:
What is an Empath? Mother’s Day Special
Joyful, Joyful Creating a Happy Birthing Process
Soul Notes: A Black Father on Pregnancy